Waiting

I recently applied for employment for a few different positions. I was fortunate enough to interview at almost every single place I applied. Now that the interview process is over I find myself waiting, not so patiently for a phone call telling me I'm hired. I have noticed that while waiting I have allowed myself to go through an array of emotions. Some being from old thought patters like, "What if I sucked at the interview? What if I said the wrong thing? Could I have done better? " All of these thoughts are not doing me any good of course. I think the reason I start having these sort of thoughts is because for the rest of the process everything is out of my control. There is absolutely nothing I can do except wait and see what happens. The one thing that I do have control over is how I wait. I can control what types of thoughts I allow to enter into my mind, and I can choose which ones are positive and will bring about some positive experiences for me. I know I did the best I could at all of the interviews. By doing these interviews I stepped out  of my comfort zone and nothing disastrous happened. I was able to connect with other people , even if  it was brief. I was able to put more interview experience under my belt. I am a firm believer that everything happens the way they are meant to and I believe in divine timing. After becoming aware of myself and how this experience has effected me I have learned that no matter what happens, everything will work out and I will be fine! 

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A cleansing Prayer

 

I found great comfort when I came across this and wanted to share it with you.....I AM now choosing to cleanse myself and release any and all thought forms, beings, situations and energies that are no longer of service to my highest and greatest good…across all planes of my existence, across all universes, and across all lifetimes. I ask that all energies that are less than love be transmuted for the highest good of all. And so it is.

 

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fear sucks

Recently I have been going through an enormous amount of fear. Fear of driving, leaving my house. Making any moves outside of my comfort zone. It is like being in a prison without any bars or a lock. Fear can become so crippling that you literally freeze and become unable to move. I missed a sports event tonight that my daughter was involved in out of this fear. Fear makes you feel ashamed and embarrassed. It makes you feel weak and small. How do you explain this fear when you don't understand it yourself? I get angry and sad because of this fear. I lose out on living a real life, with people I love. I know I am not the only one to feel this overwhelming fear. I have family members that deal with this exact same thing on a regular basis,as well as friends. Fear is not a "bad" thing. It keeps us safe normally. There is no magic courage pill either. The only way to release the hold the fear has over you is..to FACE YOUR FEAR. I know it is much easier said then done. Good luck to you and good luck to me.

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FULFILLMENT

I recently enrolled in a course for Life Coaching. As I am going through the classes I am finding that most of the material that is covered, I also covered in my book, The Soul's Alliance. I fond this extremely interesting. Especially because I didn't even know Life Coaching was a thing until a few weeks ago. Anyway, something that the instructor spoke about today was happiness and fulfillment. He was talking about happiness coming and going but fulfillment stays, it "fills" you up and keeps you content and feeling peaceful. I had never thought about this before but now that the concept has been introduced to me it makes a lot of sense. I am generally happy in my life. I am generally happy with the way my life is. However, I am not fulfilled. My happiness lasts for brief moments and I find myself slipping back into old habits, beliefs, and bouts of depression. As I am going through these classes I am learning that I am not living my passion. I am not giving the way that would bring me the most fulfillment. Self-awareness is the key to everything and as I am learning self-awareness leads to self-control. As I continue on this journey I hope to one day become a Life Coach. To one day helps others as I have been helped.

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The dark side of the awakening

The dark side of an awakening is not something that is talked about often. In fact when I was researching this subject there was very little information. Which is why I decided to write this blog. I can only speak about my own experiences dealing with this topic but what I write is truth, my truth about the darker side. Initial awakening is euphoric! There is a sense of freedom that surrounds your every move. It is as if your eyes have never really been opened before and you have been looking at life through nothing but a blurred slit. Everything and I mean everything has meaning and significance. The air you breathe, the ground you walk on, the food you eat. The people you are around suddenly become pure souls vibrating a high frequency of energy and peace. You think a single thought and before you realize what is happening you begin manifesting the experience to bring your thoughts into this new reality. You “see” for the first time since you were born into this life. But with the sweet comes the sour. Once the “high” begins to wear off you notice that 90% of the population is still sleeping. Though you can see these souls shining bright within the physical bodies, they have no idea what they really are no matter how you try to explain it to them. They walk around with blinders on, putting so much energy into the mundane.  As an awakened soul you realize that you are more alone now than when you were sleeping and find yourself on occasion wishing you could go back to sleep. You find that the more you try to connect with society, the more you distance yourself from the world that no longer makes sense. Loneliness takes on a different meaning, for you are never really alone because Spirit is always by your side. You become lonely for home. The place you were before you came back. You are lonely for your soul group, your tribe. You find yourself with an abundance of anxiety and depression because you just don’t seem to “fit” into this world and you begin to wonder how you made it as far as you did. You long to fulfill your soul’s purpose so you can rid yourself from this dark place full of greed, anger, hatred and war. You get frustrated because people just don’t get it, even though you so desperately want them to. You feel all of the world’s sadness and it is so heavy on your shoulders. Having small talk begins to leave you exhausted and you need more time alone to recharge. Your own demons (ego self) start popping to the surface to temp you back into your old ways. And sometimes they win, so you feel guilty because you just can’t save everyone. But there is always one thing you can count on, connect to and turn to and that is Spirit. You know the undisputed truth.  You cannot have light without the darkness and when the darkness begins to overwhelm you, you must become your own light. 

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